You all knew.

So, I got home yesterday and it's just been absolutely amazing being home. I love it and I missed it so much while I was in Paris. 

When I came out of customs after a crappy morning at the crappy CDG airport, an 11 hour plane ride and customs (of course) that I completely missed my boyfriend standing right in front of me waiting for me. Well, he was dressed like a chauffeur, which he had always joked about doing; he was holding signs that I read, just like in Love Actually, and the last one asked me to marry him in french. Then he got down on his knee and proposed to me. It was the sweetest thing ever and such an amazing surprise. 

Then I found out that pretty much EVERYONE knew about it. LIterally everyone. So I'm writing this but you all knew it way before I did. 

When I take pictures of my ring I'll post them. Hopefully by Sunday I'll have them. 

I'm surprised that everyone kept the secret, I'm proud of you all. 

Even though it couldn't have been that hard, since I was in a different country...so don't get a big head about it. 

Typewriter

So, I'm at a week countdown now! 

I really am so excited to go home but the more that I think about it the more I know I'm going to miss it here, and the more I feel like I haven't done anything while I've been here. I don't know how much I'll miss the city itself, but I'll definitely miss my host family and the friends I've made at IES. It will be so weird going from seeing them each and every day to not seeing them at all! 

This last weekend I spent Friday at EuroDisney with Amanda! It was so so much fun; just like being back home!! We rode pretty much all the rides we could. There was pretty much NO ONE there! It was awesome because the longest line we waited in was maybe 30 minutes, and that's only because it broke down part way through! The rest of the lines were like 5 minutes or just walk on! It was so much fun. It was gloomy and rained pretty much the whole time, but I know that's what kept most people away, so I'm ok with that!

Then Saturday I spent the whole day with Rebekah and it was so much fun! We had lunch at an awesome boulangerie and then went the the Centre Pompidou, the second biggest modern art museum in the world! I took pictures for a dossier that I have to do for my history class and we walked around for a good 2 or 3 hours! The museum was so cool, and I wish so much that I had gone there before now, because I would have loved to be able to spend more time there. Then we hung out around Paris and went to the biggest Christmas market in Paris that's out at La Defense. The Christmas markets are cool, but once you've been to one you've been to all of them, and they're not that great. But it was way fun walking around and making fun of all the junk that people were trying to sell at ridiculous prices. 

I got to study all day Sunday, and still didn't get everything done that I wanted to get done. O well, such is life. 

The weekend before last I went to Amsterdam with Amanda, Bonnie, and Karlene! It was so much fun and such a beautiful town. I had heard from a number of people how pretty it is but you just can't understand how cool it is until you go! We went to the Van Gogh museum and did the Ann Frank house and it was so so so awesome. Ann Frank was such a cool girl. We also walked around the Red Light district, which was quite intriguing and way funny. Karlene and I kept to our every two week routine, and now I won't see her until January! But it's ok, because after that I know I'll be stuck with her every single day. ;)

Anyway, this weekend is going to be a lot of studying for finals next week. And I HAVE to make it to the Cinematheque (film museum) or else I fail at my career path, another place I can't believe I haven't been since I've gotten here. I'll get all my sight seeing in and do plenty of studying, and I'm sure have a great weekend! 

Hope everyone is doing well! 

It really has been fun.

So, I have less than two weeks until I'm on my way home! I really can't wait, I'm so ready to get home and be normal agian: eat normally, work out, have motivation to do things, be able to bake, be creative, and (of course) be able to see the people I love. 

France has been an amazing experience, but has also made me realize that I never want to live here. Not even just Paris, but France in general. It's an amazing country to visit and I'd love to come back someday (especially the south) but it's not a place I ever see myself living. So, I'm ready to get back to Fort Worth and finish up college and see where life takes me from there. 

This week is the last week of classes and the week after that I have four finals and then I leave on Thursday the 18th!!! I feel like I haven't had ANY motivation to do homework at all. I have papers to write, tests to study for, and class blogs to write, but I find myself doing other things instead of anything productive all day. I get really frustrated with myself, but just can't get motivated in the slightest. I think over 50% of it is my environment. I still don't feel completely comfortable in my host family's house, feeling like I should stay in my room and do homework instead of at home when I'd go in the dinning or living room and work. I haven't found anywhere in Paris to go and study, people look at you weird if you go to a cafe and study, and Starbucks (all of them) are always so so packed (like lines out the door packed). Also, to add to the non motivation, the oldest daughter in my host family is home for a month before she goes to start grad school in Australia. Great. She's literally a chain smoker (can't put the things down), her room is right next to mine, and she BLASTS her music, and I don't think she likes me. Awesome. So now instead of just being frustrated sitting in my room I get to feel even more cut off because I have to keep my door closed constantly unless I want everything to smell like smoke (no thanks). And I get to listen to her crappy music too.

Also, Parisians suck (probably not all of them) but for the most part. I'm pretty sure one day soon I'm going to loose it and start screaming when someone shoves me out of the way or pushes me to walk faster. Stop touching me. I get that you're annoyed with me, but I'll bet you I'm about three hundred times more annoyed with you...and I'm taller than you. So stop and everything will be fine. And don't even get me started on French men. Mme. Schein was 150% correct when she told me not to talk to them. Everyone needs that advice before they come here. There's even a facebook group dedicated to how sleazy and creepy they are. Literally all of them. I haven't met one yet that isn't. 

I just can't wait to get home. 

However, I am going to miss the girls I've met here ridiculously. I can't even begin to think about what it will be like to not see them everyday. 

And I really have enjoyed my time here. :)

SDF

Each day that I have been in Pairs I have thought about what it would be like to be homeless. Not that I never thought about it before I got to Paris, but i think about it so much more often now. 

Ever since middle school when my mom took me to volunteer at the Union Gospel Mission, I've had a heart for homeless people. And I know that Fort Worth has a problem with how many people we have without homes and I knew it was a problem everywhere, but I never new how bad it was until I got to Pairs. I feel like everywhere I go around her I at least see one homeless person (or maybe not homeless but without enough money to be begging, or faking it, i don't know). I'm sure I see more of them than the average Parisian because I frequent the touristy areas more but even on my walk to school there are two that are there all the time. 

And the homeless people here aren't just single people homeless. They sit on the metro steps or on the Champs Elysee holding their sleeping children. When I see the children I just want to pull my wallet out and dump it in the change collection cup. But I don't, and I fell guilty until I get off at the next metro stop and see a group of completely wasted homeless guys, or get harassed by one on the metro. 

I always feel like I should do something to help them, but I don't want to give them money because I don't know what they're going to do with it. I don't want to give them money if they're just going to go buy booze or drugs. Because that's what a lot of them do. One night we gave a guy all of our left over food from a pick-nick. I liked doing that, and wish I could do it more, but I don't know where to do it or who to give it to. I feel like they should deserve it, like they should be something to actively get out of the situation they're in. Not that I think the others don't deserve to eat. 

Anyway, I think I've decided to try and get more involved in volunteering next semester and over winter break. I don't have money to give, but I have time, and I think that's even better than money. I don't know what I'll do, but I'll figure it out. 

I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to be homeless, or to grow up in a family that's homeless. And when I try to it makes me so sad; I feel like I can't just sit around and think about it anymore; I have to do something to help them. Especially the kids. 

I read about a girl who started a running club with a homeless shelter that she would run by. They started to run together and ended up running the city marathon. I'd love to be able to do something proactive like that, and not just serve food and be done with it. 

Let me know if you have any suggestions.